Glorious Broad #10: Lauren Ezersky

PHOTOS: CHRISTOPHER SCALZI / DISTILLED STUDIO

PHOTOS: CHRISTOPHER SCALZI / DISTILLED STUDIO

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GLORIOUS PROFESSION: TV Host, Writer, Model

GLORIOUS PERSONA:  Moxie for Miles, Fashionista Behind the Scenes-ter

GLORIOUS QUALITIES:  Yonkers Tone and 'Tude, Signature Style, Brutal Honesty

GLORIOUS PHILOSOPHY:

I never say no to anything

Lauren Ezersky has been on the New York scene for decades — as host of the cult fashion insider gab-fest  “Behind the Velvet Ropes” and writer of Paper Magazine's howlingly successful “Lunch with Lauren” column, she helped create the scene itself. You can't get more New York than that.

She's everywhere — watching my new fave Netflix brain freeze, Dating Around,  — who steals the show in episode 4? Lauren. Best line: “I’ve got class with a K, baby…” Amen, sistah!

The typical descriptions for Lauren? Eccentric, outlandish, hilarious — all true. Beyond the bon mots, her no bullshit take on getting on with life really drew us in. My lunch with the very Glorious Broad, Lauren Ezersky in NYC …

GB: Well, you nearly created reality TV.
I DID create reality TV. No doubt.

GB: Do “they” recognize you for that? You were so fucking good …
Probably not. You know, I used to interview the cab driver, the elevator guys, the street cleaners — all on the fly – and then get backstage and talk to designers. Nothing was staged.

GB: Favorite moments?
I did a great interview with Alexander McQueen in bed …

GB: Do you miss that in your life now?
Sure. But I’d want to do it right or I don’t want to do it. Now it’s all competitive kinds of shows — like who’s the next Michael Kors? It’s mean-spirited. That’s not what I wanna do.

GB: And at the same time as “Velvet Ropes,” you were writing the “Lunch with Lauren” column for Paper magazine — interviewing every top dog fashion designer. One of my favorites was with Donna Karan, where you said: 'So, Donna. Tell me. Do you, like, pig out at night?'  
(Laughing) Love interviewing …

GB: So “Behind the Velvet Ropes” ends in early 2000’s — around the same time Paper shutters your column — did this promp a whole “who am I now” phase? Was it hard?
Not really. I was burned out. I was doing all of the show — me and my skeletal crew did ALL. And I wrote the column for 8 years. I worked my ass off. So I really needed time off. I had a place in the Hamptons at the time — and I chilled. Now, I have a place in Hudson. Same thing. Chilling. But I never say no to anything — if it sounds interesting.

GB: And now, girl — you are an influencer!
I don’t even know what that means …

GB: Well, here’s an example. I saw all over Instagram that Lady Gaga showed up at some event sporting EXACTLY your look 20 some years ago. Wha!!! Were you pissed?
Someone sent that to me. I just thought it was really funny. But I did have that coat, that hair, that makeup … What do they say? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery …

GB: You were ahead of the pack with your silver locks and black coal eyes among other things —an influencer before there were “influencers …”
The kids don’t know Liz Taylor much less me. But they do know Kim Kardashian, Kanye West and that whole crew. Half the people who are “influencers” don’t really have that much style. I look at the blogs and think — I would not do what this person says. They look terrible. And they don’t know fashion …

GB: With your signature look and Yonkers accent — you’ve always been your unapologetic self in the snobby fashion world. So — how’d you get IN? How’d you get the moxie?
I guess I didn’t give a shit. That helped. I went to an interview with a hot shot woman television host who shall remain nameless. And I told her “I love this kind of work, I wanna do your show, I think I’d be great at this.” You know what she said to me? “I am sorry to tell you, but you have a New York accent, you wear too much makeup. I think you should just try something else.”

GB: BIIIIIIIIIIIITCH
And let me tell you, that made me even more determined.
More than ever, I just kind of barged through. I got to really know EVERYBODY.

Half the people who are “influencers” don’t really have that much style. They look terrible. And they don’t know fashion!

GB: Your dark, exotic look has been “on brand” since before Karl sported his white ponytail — yet the blonde WASP type was the bomb then …
Oh it was. Cherry Tiegs, Christie Brinkley — that was the look. Little noses. You can thank Eileen Ford for that. And people who looked different got shit back in the day. I would approach certain people who were unique — like Lynn Yaeger, Vogue’s hottest writer — and tell her how fabulous she looked. She was shocked to hear that. Fashion is the one world that doesn’t accept really stylish people — which doesn’t make any sense. It’s the freaks, like me and my friends, that really make the trends. Someone can’t get a job at Vogue or Harpers Bazaar if they dress too outrageously — huh?  

 GB: Your parents: Did they “get” you?
Not really. I was the only child. That may have helped. I hated school. I kind of educated myself. They let me be …

GB: So what are you up to now? Where’s your passion going?
I model sometimes. But I am either too young for certain things – or not old enough. I’m not Carmen or Maye Musk — yet.  I do occasional TV. And travel’s what I want to do more of …

GB: I’ve been wanting to move to Paris for forever … been on my “bucket list”
Then just do it, ya know? Not just talk about it. I love New York. I’m never leaving …

GB: Are you a woman’s woman?
Yeah. And I’m not jealous. I love to hang out with beautiful women. I compliment, tell them ‘you’re so fabulous’ …

GB: Do you consider yourself a feminist?
Yeah. I lived my life as a man. I kind of did what I wanted. When I wanted. I just can’t put up with a lot of the man bullshit. Seriously. I just can’t. You have to make them like primary in your life. No. I don’t want to do that again.

GB: So what do you want from men now?
I’d like companionship. Someone to travel with — to love and be with. But I can’t say I will get married again or live in someone’s smaller space — unless they have a lot of money and a really BIG space.

All the age appropriate men though — which could be from 60 to 70 — they complain everything hurts them. Don't tell me 'cause I got my own issues. We're young and we're fabulous.

GB: Age appropriate’s okay, but I don’t want to hear desperate pleas either …
Yeah … I mean, everybody’s lonely, you just don’t want to hear about it…

GB: Do you miss being young?
Well, I can’t cause I’m not. If I could be 20 knowing what I know now — that would have been great. But it is what it is. Every day you learn something, get better — and then — poof — you die.

 GB: Do you tell your age?
Yeah. I’m 64.
Why deny it? Ridiculous.

GB: As you age, do you feel you are getting more happy?
No. I think aging kind of sucks — but the alternative’s not pretty. I think a lot of creative people are not as happy as they age — look at Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Life isn’t easy — no matter how much money or success. I’m relatively happy. But every day is mostly like mundane … you wake up, you have your coffee … it’s not that exciting. It would be great if it was — but — c’est la vie …

GB: What does being a Glorious Broad mean to you?
You know, I’m just me. And if somebody else thinks I’m fantastic — great. I don’t think I am so fantastic. I do think I’m unique  — everybody is unique. I’m not the girl next door. And that’s cool with me …

P.S. A little something extra — Lauren in her “Behind the Velvet Ropes” days ...

Can we just get this woman her own damn show please with a huge budget? I could have stayed awake through the Oscars if she was on the red carpet. ‘Till then we'll keep up with Lauren's being the “groovy gal about town” — that’s the sig on her IG account @laurenezersky — and it really says it all.